How do you want your face to age?
I ask every new medical aesthetics patient, especially if older than 30, “How do you see yourself ageing?”
The vast majority have never heard of our signature FFA aka Proactive Ageing. Or they think it’s not for them.
99% cannot give me a specific answer about why they have come to see me, or what their concerns are; not just today, but 2, 5 years from now if nothing changes.
Here are some examples of what they say:
- “I want to look younger”
- “I want to have less dark circles”
- “Do you think (PRP/Rejuran/device/cream) will work for me?”
- “I want a quick fix that is permanent.”
None of which answers my question.
And that is a problem.
These replies do not tell me:
- your specific concerns that have led to your making an appointment
- what specific goal you hope to achieve if we work together
- they do not refer to a timeframe (nor budget)
They DO tell me:
- you have googled or searched some potential options on social media that you hope will help you
- you want a fix that is quick and hopefully cheap.
Without specific plans and even an anchor, these are not goals, they are just dreams. There is a very high chance with these “goals” that in another 2 years from now, you will still be where you are today, or worse off as you will be two years older.
Problems that bother us rarely tend to go away without significant change in how we are doing things.
Without a specific plan and deadline, most of us give up at the first sign of discomfort or setback. That is a human problem, which is why so few people succeed and why we make the same New Year’s resolutions year on year, only to quit by February.
What do real goals look like?
Real goals around ageing may look like:
- “I have developed lines and wrinkles at rest that are making me look mad/bad/sad and are impacting my staff’s ability to approach me. I’d like to look more approachable and rested.”
- “I have lost a significant amount of weight and keep being asked if I am sick, or unwell. It is impacting my confidence as I feel great. I’d like to look the way I feel on the inside.”
- “I am only 45 and in a customer facing role where the way I present may make or break the deal.”
- “I don’t want to look younger necessarily, but my outside no longer reflects how I feel on the inside.”
- “I’m feeling insecure about ageing the way I am with many younger people around and would like to look not younger, but approachable and confident.”
- “With perimenopause my skin has undergone changes in texture and pigmentation I am unhappy with. I’d like a simple routine I can follow at home and in clinic to help preserve skin quality so that I can look back in 3 years and not feel like I look older than my age.”
“I want to look good enough that I can still get work.” Jane Fonda, age 87.
Whether we like it or not, we live in a society that places an unfair burden on women to look a certain way to be successful at their careers.
The main difference between goals and dreams?
- Vague goals lack specificity and accountability so they are easy to discard once it gets inconvenient or there are setbacks
- Specific goals with a deadline that are timebound with a clear path give you the motivation to start and then correct as you go as you begin to see results.
The human condition
The thing that shocks me the most is that most people do not seem to understand that beyond a certain age, around early to mid 30s, you will need more effort and consistency to help you look and feel your best. And that it is a longterm commitment, much like brushing your teeth twice a day to stave off cavities.
You don’t have to like it all the time.
You just have to have a plan that is clear, actionable and then you have to do it. You have to remove all barriers to showing up, all excuses to quit, delay and to take shortcuts.
We correct as we go as long as you keep showing up.
The higher the goal, the older you are, the more problems there are to correct.
Beyond a point, delaying and waiting for the perfect time means you will be looking at surgery or accepting ageing naturally as the result.
Many of you come to me after years if not decades, of no clear direction.
You got away with it because you were young(er).
What you were also doing, often, was burning cash going in circles that were never going to get you results that would last, if they worked at all.
So when we finally meet most of you are surprised and sometimes dismayed when I :
- show you how far off your stated goals you are
- how much work needs to be UNDONE if we are to work together
- why surgery is sometimes, the only answer left for decent results because
- you left it too late
- you jumped from clinic to clinic and have collected bad work the way someone collects stamps.
If you don’t know where you are going, and your guide is not someone qualified to lead, with the experience and proven track record to get you there all roads will lead you to disappointment.
If you are not someone whose word is her bond, who takes her commitments seriously and has a proven track record for showing up once you commit, regardless of your feelings, you will fail.
That is why we are super fussy about our signature FFA for women ages 30-55 and who we say yes to.
This program will not work for you, if so.
Our FFA is a timebound program that holds you to a standard to get you results within 3 months that you then maintain for years to come.
No pillowface.
No frozen face.
No makeup, unless it makes you happy.
Because your face and skin deserve a plan. At Skin Essentials, we are hardcore about our plan, as are our FFA patients.
In 2026 we are accepting a total of 12 new FFA patients over the year, beginning in February. If you think that may be you, fill out our application form to see if we might be a fit.